I'm expecting...

I've been thinking a whole lot about expectations lately... it's what I focus on teaching the first few weeks of school and that's coming up in about 10 days. Some how THOSE expectations have me thinking about other expectations.

Like all I've ever wanted, from the time I was old enough to want anything, was to be a mother. A mom. Mommy. Mama. That's it. That is my number one dream.

Biologically, I don't have too many years left to fulfill that dream... though I feel that it's going to happen in this life.

Realistically, the possibility of me giving birth to those three, little, four, little, five little babies of my own... is slim.

Yet, if I really think about it, the Lord has fulfilled that dream in huge ways.

Work with me here...

In Relief Society on Sunday we were discussing President Uchtdorf's talk on discipleship. He gives this analogy of a farmer planting a seed and then digging it back up to see if it's grown. I couldn't help but think of planting a seed expecting one thing and after it grows, it's something totally different than what you thought you had planted.

Reality? We probably got what was best for us.

So here's my point: While I was in Africa last week, I couldn't help but wonder what these beautiful people expected for their lives. Most want water, shelter, food. I was continually amazed by the happiness I saw and felt from them.

Which caused me to reflect... do I expect too much? Or are my expectations unrealistic?

Don't get me wrong.

I'm a huge advocate of BIG dreams.

But not unrealistic expectations.

As for my mother dream. Maybe right now I'm expecting wrong. Because the reality is that I am a mother. I have children all over the world. Some are missionaries in foreign lands, some are orphans in Ethiopia and Thailand, others are my neighbors, kids at Church, or nieces and nephews. All these babies! Oh man do I have KIDS!!

Boy! Has Heavenly Father really come through for me on this one... He knew.

He knows.

Besides, today when I held my 24-hour-old baby nephew in my arms and whispered in his ear: "Were you just with MY babies? AND do they plan to come any time soon?"

He smiled.

BIG.

And opened his eyes.

Expecting...

Apostle Cards

There are some things in life that you just can't put into words... Like a youth conference in Ethiopia.

But I'm going to try. (It may take several posts AND several weeks.)

About 5 weeks before my trip, the idea came to ask the Church leaders in Ethiopia if there was anything I could do to help while I was there. I knew I'd be going straight from EFY in Utah to Africa, so I mentioned this and my profession as a seminary teacher.

Next thing you know, we're planning a youth conference. It was amazing to see so many of you help... my donation goal was met within 2 days. It was more than doubled by the time I left.

One of the things I was asked to focus on was what it means to have prophets and apostles on the earth again. I had one specific idea: I wanted some kind of flash cards for these kids. (I am amazed at ALL of the specific ideas that came and how they all came together! Amazing! Who puts together an all day youth conference in 5 weeks???)

As I was telling a good friend about it, she took off with the idea and got the young women in my ward involved in making apostle cards. I am amazed at how she went about this and really got it done.

200 were produced: printed, copied, pasted, laminated, collated, punched, put on rings, carried to Africa.... now they're a MUST in fashion accessories for LDS youth in Ethiopia!

They all put them on immediately! (Though that wasn't at all the intent... I love that they all wanted to wear them!)

AND I hear they continue to wear them. This is a photo of a young man that attended the youth conference and was baptized yesterday. He's wearing the EFY t-shirt (thank you EFY... donations of last year's t-shirts!) that I brought and his apostles cards. I bet if you look close, you'll be able to see a CTR ring on another finger?

That's the kind of simple faith we encountered in Africa. This pure, believing faith. And I want so much to be like them!

I was amazed at how quickly they absorbed everything they were taught... so receptive. SO grateful! And so good...

Ethiopia: It happened!

When I was 13 years old, the Church had a special fast for famine relief in Ethiopia. I think that was probably my first real experience with fasting AND with feeling a passionate draw to a cause, people, or place. It was then that I felt I would one day travel to Ethiopia to "help".

Last fall I attended a single's conference presentation by the directors of Hope Arising. They have started a water project in Ethiopia. My heart leaped out of my chest as I bolted to the front of the room, begging them to take me with them on a trip.

Last week I was in Ethiopia. Living my dream. I kept paying attention to elements that were fulfilling that young girl dream... I think these are things that will continue to be revealed to me over time.

All I can say is that I will never, EVER be the same. And that God really does know the desires of our heart... in His time. OH. HIS time. What a beautiful thing.

Here's a little summary of the trip:

• Youth Conference for 160 Ethiopian Saints

• Playing the keyboard in Church (a life time goal that I've been too afraid to vocalize!)

• Impromptu Relief Society teacher

• Meeting with 3 teenaged orphans, 3 fatherless adolescent boys, women who are trying to take really good care of their families...despite extraordinary challenges (things you and I couldn't even begin to imagine... like fetching water so you can bathe or wash clothes or have something to drink)

• Playing "head, shoulders, knees, and toes" and "do as I'm doing" with kids in an orphanage and neighborhood kids

• Visiting old churches

• Sitting in tiny homes that really are the holiest places I've ever been
  

I can't believe it's happened. And can hardly wait to see what's next for me.

View more photos here.

It's About Time

Time fascinates me.

It just doesn't seem consistent.

Some TIME is really long. Like a bad blind date. Minutes feel like HOURS. (If you don't know what I'm talking about then lucky you.)

I really, REALLY hate wasting time.

Lately my time has been expanded in really great ways!

I keep shaking my head at the things that are getting done... so timely.

Summer hit hard and is flying by... It's July SECOND, right? Time does fly, you know.

As of today, this summer I have:

• Been to Hawaii. Rough. I know
• Moved to a new seminary
  
• Attended 2 weeks of work in-service meetings
• Completed an awesome summer session class... including a gazillion readings and 3 great projects.
• Applied for permission (and received approval!!!) to use my work in Ethiopia as research. (From A.S.U.) My dad thinks it's funny that I had an ethics committee from the Sun DEVILS approve my research... (This, by the way, happened in an unheard of amount of time... very, very fast!)
  
• Been released from the Stake Relief Society presidency. Talk about 4 years flying by....
• Raised money for a youth conference in Ethiopia (THANK YOU ALL so very much!)
• Prepared 4 talks for EFY next week
• Plan(ning) talks for Youth Conference in Ethiopia next Saturday (SATURDAY. NEXT SATURDAY! I REALLY SAID THAT. I'M GOING TO AFRICA NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!)
  

And those are just the highlights.

My point. I am forever amazed at the way time expands when we're doing what we're supposed to be doing. And planning and praying our way through.

Imagine ETERNITY. Now THAT is about TIME.

I think I'll go spend some time chillin' a little... I just visited REDBOX. (Isn't that the coolest thing?)

AND have some serious packing to do.

Tomorrow.

There's time.